Is it wrong for stay-at-home moms to send their children to preschool?
I was mindlessly surfin’ the net last week, when I ran across the following article: Karen Lynn Todd: No need for preschool if Mom’s doing her job right. At the end of the article, Todd states,
School today is overrated. If stay-at-home parents are doing their job at home — spending time reading, conversing and playing with your kids — there is no need for preschool.
I’m almost ashamed to admit that 5 years ago I agreed with her. I was a stay-at-home vigilante. My children would have no need for preschool, because I was doing a great job as a mother. There’s no way I was going to subject my children to the outside influences of an evil world at such a young age. And my daughter didn’t go to preschool. She was fine.
Then my son reached preschool age. My whole attitude about preschool turned upside down. While my daughter is somewhat introverted and needs a lot of rest throughout the day, my son is extremely extroverted and has an endless amount of energy. He begged to go to school when he saw his sister get on the bus.
Still, I resisted. I kept him pretty busy with church activities, and I was dragging him to speech therapy once a week, because his speech was delayed. I was exhausted, and Sam still had lots of energy. Finally at his IFSP meeting, his speech therapist said she thought he would benefit from preschool. After much discussion, I decided to give it a try.
Last September Sam headed off for his first year at preschool. He went to school on Tuesday and Thursday mornings and was in a class of 10 kids with 2 teachers. And you know what? He loved it! Every Tuesday and Thursday he would excitedly tell me what happened at school. I learned about preschool politics, who got to be the line leader and snack helper. He told me why the red bike was better than the orange bike. And Sam thrived.
My attitude on preschool has changed to match my attitude regarding all education. You have to know your child and then make a choice based on your child’s best interest. For some children, like my daughter, there’s no need for preschool. She was perfectly content to hang out at home, playing with mom and learning what I taught her. But others, like my son, thrive on the structure and socialization that preschool offers.
I guess I would tell Ms. Todd that it’s fine that her daughters don’t need preschool. That’s great. But don’t make a blanket statement about my choices without first knowing my children.
13 Comments
melody is slurping life
Tuesday, 4th September 2007 at 8:40 am
Although I homeschool each of my children since kindergarten age, at the age of 3-5 they each attended a 3 day morning only preschool. It was THE perfect preschool with diversity, love and a spirit of true devotion from the teachers. I would not trade that childhood experience of theirs for the world.
No one should judge or make determinations for what is right or wrong for a SAHM, or any mom, and her children.
Lynnae
Tuesday, 4th September 2007 at 1:48 pm
I totally agree with you, Melody!
Heidi
Tuesday, 4th September 2007 at 3:13 pm
I agree with you. Preschool may not be necessary for all kids, but there are a lot of benefits as well. But judging each child individually will benefit us all.
Rebecca
Wednesday, 5th September 2007 at 10:57 am
Wow! I read that passage from the article and nearly had a heart attack out of anger…glad I went on to read the rest of what you wrote! LOL!!!
All kids are different - whether a child goes to preschool or not has nothing to do with the mom doing her job right. You said it best here: “You have to know your child and then make a choice based on your child’s best interest.”
And then here: “I guess I would tell Ms. Todd that it’s fine that her daughters don’t need preschool. That’s great. But don’t make a blanket statement about my choices without first knowing my children.”
When I first had kids I NEVER thought I would go the preschool route and was dead set on homeschooling. Homeschooling is still up in the air, but my son is in preschool and thriving. He has Asperger’s Syndrome (hugh functioning Autism) and there are just things that his teachers can do for him that at this point I can’t - they have training and years of experience under their belts and while he is in preschool I am learning from them things I can continue at home.
What a post - I loved it!!!
Lynnae @ From Under the Clutter
Wednesday, 5th September 2007 at 11:08 am
I was dead set on public school, too. I was either going to homeschool or send the kids to Christian school. Unfortunately finances dictate that our kids don’t go to Christian school. And both of my kids have had/still have speech issues. (My daughter was actually tested for Asperger’s, though the “experts” decided she didn’t have it….everyone’s leaning more toward ADD these days). What I found was that the public school has been a huge help in meeting special needs. So my daughter is in public school, and my son will be in public school next year.
You just have to be open to what your child needs.
Rebecca
Wednesday, 5th September 2007 at 11:34 am
Amen to that!
So refreshing in the blogosphere to hear a blogger actually open to public school!
Lynnae
Wednesday, 5th September 2007 at 11:40 am
What can I say? I’m into bucking the trend! lol
Tricia
Wednesday, 5th September 2007 at 2:14 pm
Amen. All three of my children go to public school an I like to hear when others are able to accept the reasons my children go to public school.
Carrie F
Wednesday, 5th September 2007 at 4:02 pm
HEHEHEHE!! Ok So I think ALL children should be submitted to the torture that is public school for a little bit of their lives so that they can see being home with mom is NOT such a bad deal even if she IS making you work.
Lynnae, Nice job…you got me all fired up and I decided rather than leaving a lengthy post in your comments I’ll just blog about it…go read it…you’re mentioned
Kim
Thursday, 6th September 2007 at 9:06 am
I agree that it depends on the child. Also I think preschool is not just about teaching a child his ABC’s or things like that. Once upon a time i was a stay at home mom and i taught my son those lessons well, he was reading books at age 4. BUT… i couldn’t teach him social skills or how to get deal with others. he needed to be in an evironment where he could experience those things in order to learn them. whether that means preschool or playgroups, sports or dance class is up to the parent to decide. it should be based in part on what we believe and want as parents and in part on what the child needs and wants. So, for someone to generalize and make such statements is absurd!
Ginny
Sunday, 9th September 2007 at 10:21 am
Wow what an awful statement to say. I am a stay at home mom, I have a 10 year old & a 6 year old. I have been a stay at home mom for about 5.5 years now. Both my kids went to pre-school. They both went to make friends, have some social time with peers & to start their journey at being an independant woman. I think a lot of moms forget that their #1 job is to raise their children to be independent. School isn’t just about book learning, you also learn how to interact with peers, people of authority, you learn how to deal with the different types of people out there, etc. I want my kids to experience as much as possible.
SAHMmy Says
Thursday, 13th September 2007 at 5:55 am
You have some great insight here! From my perspective, it’s all about the motive. Does a SAHMmy send her kiddos to preschool so she can clean/shop/take “me time?” I feel that those reasons are invalid; if she doesn’t want to be a SAHM, a job outside the home may be more fruitful. I’m sure my son would get a kick out of preschool, just as he would be happy to eat M&M’s for breakfast if I allowed it. I truly believe that kids can be fully socialized without preschool. Still, different strokes for different folks!
Lynnae
Thursday, 13th September 2007 at 5:45 pm
I agree that motive is important, and I also agree that a child can be fully socialized at home. The motive should always be what’s in the best interest for the child.