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I remember being a kid and thinking my mom was so uncool. She tried really hard to be cool by taking an intense interest in what my friends and I were up to. My younger self resented the intrusion though. And I remember thinking the way she dressed wasn’t fashionable at all. Why couldn’t she look more stylish?
And the rules about going out. They were the worst. I would have to answer 50 questions. Where was I going? With who? Are any adults going to be there? And she would actually call to talk to the parents! How embarrassing!
I had responsibilities around the house. I washed the dishes (no dishwasher at my house!), cleaned the bathrooms, dusted, and vacuumed. The arguments my mom and I had about the state of my room were terrible! I never did understand why she was so upset. It was MY room, after all.
When I left home for college, I swore I would never become my mother. Then I grew up.
These days I find myself frequently asking Liz about her friends and what is going on in her life. I want to know what she thinks and why. I want to know who is influencing her, and whether it’s a good or bad thing. I want to be able to step in and guide her in the right direction if she starts going down the wrong path.
And my clothes. Well, I must say I’m not too fashionable these days. I don’t wear ratty old clothes or anything, but I only have so much money in the clothing budget to spend, and I’d rather make sure my children have what they need than buy myself something that isn’t necessary.
And yes, I do have rules. Liz is going to a slumber party this weekend. I know exactly who’s going to be there, and yes, I have talked to the mother. There are too many bad things that happen when groups of kids are unsupervised. I don’t want Liz hanging out without supervision.
The last argument Liz and I had? It was about the state of her room. It looked like a bomb went off in there! I understand that it’s her space, but it’s my house. That’s not the point, though. The point is that I want her to learn how to take good care of her belongings. She is blessed to have the things in her room, and I want her to learn to appreciate them.
In the same way, I want her to appreciate the responsibility she has as part of our family. For this reason, she has chores. She needs to pitch in and help around the house, because we’re a family and we work together for our common good. She doesn’t often agree with me on this point, but I am the mommy and I know best!
Yes, I’m definitely turning into my mother. And someday Liz will turn into me. It’s a good thing. I don’t think my pre-teen self would have made a very good mother.
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SingForHim @ Real Life says:
I swear I could have written this! I can so relate. I loved your spin at the end where you embrace the change. I love this sentence:
“I don’t think my pre-teen self would have made a very good mother.”
So true!
September 6th, 2007 at 4:55 pm
Lynnae says:
My pre-teen self was pretty selfish!
September 6th, 2007 at 5:38 pm
Anna says:
Great post.
You have a really cool blog. Love the layout, graphics and colors!
September 9th, 2007 at 5:49 pm
childlife says:
Lynnae - This was a great post! I recall having similar thoughts as a teen and every day I see myself becoming more like my mom - something I used to mutter under my breath would never happen. I realize now, though that I have a deep respect for the way my mother raised her children, and if I am honest, I respected her methods in my childhood too. I am so grateful that she cared enough to be involved and I pray that my children will never fail to understand how much they are loved. Wonderful thoughts, and I am grateful to you for sharing them!
September 9th, 2007 at 7:03 pm
TaunaLen says:
I remember when my sister and I used to joke about how appalled we were to find ourselves turning into Mom. Now, when someone says I’m like my Mom, I take it as a compliment of the highest order. She’s my hero.
~TaunaLen
September 10th, 2007 at 8:22 am
Deb - Mom of 3 Girls says:
So true! I only hope my kids appreciate how involved I am in their lives (and will continue to be!) as they get older and someday have their own kids… Great post!
September 10th, 2007 at 10:17 am
Julie @ the Surrendered Scribe says:
This is priceless!!! I have been there done that as the child, and now I see with my 9 year old son, it’s coming full circle. Great article, wonderful blog!
September 10th, 2007 at 3:14 pm
melody says:
Mom of all boys, but I’m now a mother, so the shoe fits. I have a 26 yo son who now sees things from an adult viewpoint and that’s nice. Only 3 more to go.
September 10th, 2007 at 3:38 pm
Heather says:
What a great post. This is a wonderful perspective! My daughters are still young, but I can already see it coming a mile away..and my husband is like my dad…is that possible???
September 10th, 2007 at 5:25 pm
Kim says:
I think this is something we can all relate to. It would be scary if we didn’t become our mother.
September 10th, 2007 at 5:28 pm
Kathy in WA says:
Hi! This is funny and so true. Even the moms I know that dress hip and trendy have kids who are even trendier so you obviously can’t win in the fashion department.
Nice post.
Duckabush Blog
September 10th, 2007 at 7:07 pm
Val says:
I have a different perspective from losing my Mom, but more and more I celebrate the moments when I’m like her.
September 18th, 2007 at 8:07 pm
Lynnae says:
That’s a great perspective, Val.
September 19th, 2007 at 5:11 am