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It used to be so easy. I’d go to the infant section of the department store and pick up anything cute and pink. And there was so much selection. Cute little rompers, sundresses, floppy hats…..it’s so fun to shop for a baby.
Then my baby girl turned into a toddler. Shopping was still easy. Toddler clothes are really cute. The only thing difficult about shopping for toddler clothes, is that sometimes my toddler insisted that she needed an ugly Elmo t-shirt that I really hated. But that was the worst of it.
When Liz was too big for toddler clothes, shopping started to get interesting. It seems that clothes for girls in size 4-6X are geared more towards high schoolers than children. Suddenly I was starting to worry about how short skirts were and whether or not my daughter’s belly showed when she put her arms above her head. I found that stores like Gymboree and the Children’s Place were excellent for buying cute, modest clothing. Of course I always bought on clearance. 
Then Liz went from a size 6X to an 8 and now a 10. I thought buying little girl clothes was bad. Boy was I in for a rude awakening. Girl’s size 8-14 clothes are infinitely worse than the little girl clothes. Long skirts? Forget it! Modest swimsuits? Nearly impossible to find. It doesn’t help that Liz is skinny with long legs, so everything is short on her anyway. And she hates to shop. And she’s starting to get particular about her clothes.
No longer can I just run to the store and pick out clothes for her. Now she needs to come with me to try things on. I make her raise her hands up to make sure her belly doesn’t show. She bends over to make sure her underwear, or worse, doesn’t show. She sits down to make sure her skirt doesn’t ride up. We talk about modesty. A lot.
I get angry sometimes. We want our daughters to be taken seriously. To be appreciated for who they are and what they think. We want to remove ourselves from the days when a woman was judged solely on how she looked.
Yet it seems that all clothing is designed to draw attention to a young woman’s body. How can we possibly teach our daughters that looks aren’t what is important when everything in the store says looks are all that matter?
Fortunately Liz is on board with me. She understands the need for modesty. Yes, we have had many shopping trips that end with both of us frustrated because we can’t find what we want. But we don’t give up.
Recently I became aware of Moms for Modesty. The Moms for Modesty Mission Statement is as follows:
- As a Mom for Modesty I believe in common-sense modesty for girls and young women.
- I believe in refraining from s*xualizing our girls and young women.
- I believe that it is unwise and unfair to taunt boys and young men by permitting my daughter(s) to dress in an immodest manner.
- I believe that true beauty comes from within and I strive to teach my daughter(s) this truth.
- I will loyally shop at retailers that provide girls’ and young womens clothing that is modest, affordable and stylish.
I wholeheartedly agree, and I will be proudly displaying the Moms for Modesty button on my sidebar from here on out. I want my nine year old daughter to look nine. Not twenty-six.
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Kim says:
I know just what you are talking about. Just wait until you have to shop in the Junior’s section. Yikes! I am lucky in that my daughter doesn’t like the too revealing clothes so I don’t have to battle her. I DO have to look hard for appropriate clothing though. As far as skirts go I still, at age 13, make her wear either shorts or leggings under a skirt. I used to always buy the skorts, the ones with built in shorts underneath. Can’t find those in the Junior’s department though. I don’t understand this rush to make our kids grow up. Let them be kids as long as they can!
October 4th, 2007 at 4:42 am
Jennifer Partin says:
I am so glad that my daughter is conservative and modest in her dress. It definetly gets harder when they hit the 12-14 girls too. We love to shop Lands End for clothing. The prices are a little expensive but they hold up nicely and the clothes are definetly conservative—especially the dresses.
October 4th, 2007 at 5:28 am
Deb - Mom of 3 Girls says:
I am so with you on this one! My 6-year-old is in a size 7/8 already and most of the clothes I see out there are not appropriate for a 16-year-old much less a 6-year-old! The clothes at the stores I can afford (Target, WalMart, etc.) are especially bad and I can’t usually afford the more expensive ones - even with clearance prices. I find that quality secondhand stores are a good option a lot of the time.
It’s hard to find the balance between making sure they are trendy enough to fit in without buying into all of the clothing mania - I don’t want my daughters to be ostracized, but I don’t want them to make who they are all about what they wear either.
I’m having a horrible time finding any kind of appropriate Halloween costumes this year - my 4-year-old wants to be Tinkerbell. Wow, are all of the Tinkerbell costumes out there skimpy!
October 4th, 2007 at 5:46 am
Lynnae says:
@Kim - I am so not looking forward to having to shop the juniors section!
@Jennifer - I’ve noticed that 12-14 is bad, even at places like the Children’s Place. Land’s End is great, if you have the money for it. I love their dresses!
@Deb - I like to shop secondhand stores, too, but it seems that the pickin’s get slimmer as the sizes get bigger. And I have the same issue with Halloween costumes. Even beyond the whole modesty thing…..don’t they realize kids need something warm at night?
October 4th, 2007 at 6:47 am
Michelle at Scribbit says:
My 13 year old daughter finally moved up into ladies sizes and it’s been wonderful because she finally has clothes she likes that are modest.
October 5th, 2007 at 9:14 pm
SingForHim @ Real Life says:
I totally agree. I went to OshKosh with my 6 year old today and got some great stuff on clearance, but if there isn’t a sale, you have to spend a million dollars to get decent things. I have the Moms for Modesty button on my site, too.
October 6th, 2007 at 5:19 pm
One day at a time... says:
Mother/Daughter Blog Carnival- October 8th…
Welcome to the October 8, 2007 edition of mothers and daughters blog carnival. Here is my post to share, right before I had my latest surgery: http://wendydelmo.typepad.com/.....e_the.html Loni presents In Other Words: Th…
October 7th, 2007 at 9:15 pm
Shrijnana says:
My daughter is only 11 months and I am already dreading buying clothes when she gets older. It seems they get more and more inappropriate and I dread what they’ll be like in a few years. Someone suggested a clothes swapping group. This would cut down the amount of clothes needed to be bought first hand. It seems the more appropriate clothes also tend to be more expensive so I imagine I’ll be relying a lot on second hand items.
October 9th, 2007 at 4:24 pm
Julie @ the Surrendered Scribe says:
Great post and message! Our daughter is 4 and her clothes size vary and the choices are very limiting. The messages on some of the clothing and undergarments are down right wrong to display, I don’t care what age the girl is. I have the modesty button as well on my blog, hopefully stores will listen!
October 11th, 2007 at 3:02 pm
Bratz? Not at our house! | From Under the Clutter says:
[…] acceptable clothing, but there are an awful lot with skimpy skirts. I’ve already posted my feelings about the over-s*xualization of girls these days. I want my girl to stay young as long as she can. There will be plenty of days ahead […]
November 6th, 2007 at 10:24 am